Getting to Yes
by Roger Fisher & William Ury
How to Negotiate Without Backing Down—or Blowing It Up
If you work in law, business, or leadership, negotiation is a constant. But most of us learn it by trial and error—or by mimicking what we’ve seen. Getting to Yes changed that for me. It gave me a clear, principled framework I could rely on in the moments that matter most—without posturing, bluffing, or backing down.
What the Book Is About
Developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Getting to Yes outlines a collaborative, interest-based approach to negotiation that focuses on outcomes—not egos.
Instead of taking hard positions (“I want X”), the book teaches you to:
• Separate people from the problem
•Focus on interests, not positions
• Invent options for mutual gain
• Use objective criteria to reach fair agreements
• It’s not about giving in—it’s about finding durable solutions that actually work.
Why This Book Mattered to Me
Early in my legal career, I saw negotiation as a win/lose game. Get more for your client, give less to the other side.
But over time—and especially as I stepped into executive roles—I saw how limited that thinking was.
Getting to Yes gave me the tools to approach negotiation differently. It helped me resolve tension instead of escalate it. It taught me how to stay calm under pressure, how to diffuse emotional conversations, and how to move people toward better outcomes—without sacrificing principles or relationships.
Whether I’m leading M&A conversations, navigating internal alignment, or just hashing out a complex deal, this book’s approach continues to serve me.
Key Takeaways
Don’t argue over positions. Ask why they want what they want—and share why you want what you want.
Be hard on the problem, soft on the people.
Use objective standards. Anchoring decisions to fairness or precedent defuses tension and builds trust.
Who Should Read This
This book should be required reading for every lawyer, founder, executive, or team lead. If you’re ever in a room where decisions get made—especially under pressure—this will make you better.
It’s also a powerful tool for anyone who negotiates informally: with clients, colleagues, partners, or even family. The principles are universal and surprisingly easy to implement.
Final Thought
Getting to Yes isn’t about tricks. It’s about clarity, empathy, and problem-solving.
It gave me the mindset and language to negotiate not from fear or force—but from focus.
Whether you’re closing a deal or defusing a conflict, this is the book you want in your corner.
